Saturday, January 14, 2012

In a difficult moment, a picture of grace

The picture was taken after the meeting began. David Knoble and Amelia Stinson-Wesley, two candidates for a Charlotte-Mecklenburg school board seat, were seated next to each other. They had met just two days before and had talked only briefly, so when Stinson-Wesley reached for his hand 10 minutes into the meeting, Knoble was surprised.

He’ll even admit he was a little uncomfortable.

But he didn’t let go.

Did you notice the photo? It was published in last Friday’s Charlotte Observer, the day after the CMS Board of Education appointed Stinson-Wesley to fill a vacant District 6 seat. That image, with its gentleness, seemed not to fit with that meeting, at which a Democrat-heavy board bluntly asserted its will by picking another Democrat to represent a majority Republican district. A lot of unhappy words have followed, including in this space, but in the midst of what went wrong that night, one thing didn’t.

Up until that moment, about 10 minutes in, David Knoble thought he had a decent chance at being Mecklenburg County’s next school board member. He and his wife, Kelli, have lived in District 6 for 14 years, and both have been active and well-regarded in the school system. At that Thursday meeting, some people prematurely congratulated Knoble and joked that they might run against him in two years.

Stinson-Wesley was sitting next to him by then. She was quiet, mostly, although the two talked a little and learned they had a mutual friend from Duke Divinity School. Then the board came in, and the nominations began.

Knoble’s nomination, from former District 6 representative Tim Morgan, was expected. But when board member Tom Tate nominated Stinson-Wesley, the room was stunned. She reached for Knoble’s hand. He smiled. He whispered to her: “You know you have the vote.” She whispered back: “You don’t know that yet.”

But she did have it, and inside, Knoble was deflated. He’d spent a couple years thinking about pursuing a school board seat, and he’d been encouraged to do so by people inside CMS. Now his hopes had dried up and blown away, and the job was going to the woman holding his hand.

He considered letting go at this point – and he could’ve diplomatically done so with a pat of the hand and encouraging smile. Instead, he thought of all the things coming Stinson-Wesley’s way. Not only a learning curve that will challenge even a smart woman like her, but the yoke she’ll carry through it as the Democrats’ pick in a conservative district.

Knoble knew this, too: People were watching them right then, watching him, and although no one could possibly be as disappointed as he was, there surely were some who were angry. He wanted to show them, too, that it was OK. “One of the great things about our country is the ability for us to choose who we want to make big choices,” he says now. “I wanted to respect the process.”

So he held on, as did she, appreciatively. “It was a connection,” she says, and when it was over, he gave her a hug and went home, where his son asked if he had won. There was no easy answer, just as there often won’t be in the next two years, in a school system with such disparate needs and populations, each kicking up storms of anger.

So he told his son “yes and no.” He hadn’t been selected for the school board seat, but he had given it his best. It’s there for us to see. A moment of grace in a moment of disappointment. Such a simple, difficult thing to find.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice column Pete. Too bad the vote turned out so political.

Not good for our county.

Linda B. said...

David Knoble is a class act.

Anonymous said...

Knoble is a class act.

I hope he ends up on the school board. I don't think he fits the stereotype image that I think his appearance and his friend Tim Morgan created for him.

Stinson-Wesley seems like a class act too, but she is not as attuned to the thinking of voters she will represent, and she lacks the numbers-orientation that Knoble brings. Meanwhile, it is kind of sad she is the beneficiary of a political power-play, and if I was her I would be candid about the discomfort of it, and go out of my way to win trust of people who presently expect her to care less about their concerns than would Knoble.

I would be humble, and start by sincerely asking Rhonda Lennon and Tim Morgan for guidance.

Appointing Stinson-Wesley instead of Knoble in this instance was the wrong decision.

Anonymous said...

I'm touched, but still doesn't change the fact that Disctrict 6 got jammed by the new black power base that has been elected by our exploding poverty class that we keep importing.

John said...

I can't help but note that in this day and age, if the reverse had happened (he had reached for HER hand) there would've been plenty of people accusing him of sexual harrassment!

Also, can't help but notice that Democrats only seem OK with mixing religion and politics (Ms. Stinson-Wesley and as I recall, several other Dems on the CMS board are ordained ministers) when Democrats do it.

todd said...

She should have done the right thing and admitted that her vote was not indicative of the district She was going to represent and given up that seat...being a Reverend and all.

pstonge said...

Good morning, all. Thanks for reading and commenting. Please, as always, no namecalling or other forms of nastiness.

Thanks...

Peter

sanitizer said...

I agree Mr. St. Onge, very nicely written. Mr.Knoble is a class act, Mrs. Stinson-Wesley is a class act also, politics aside.

DistrictSix said...

As long as the Observer is happy.

Anonymous said...

The decision was made before the meeting. So what else might be new with the democrats?

Anonymous said...

Please give her a chance. You never know, she may excel at communication and listening to her constituents. If she does, then it would be the first time in a while for us in d6.

Anonymous said...

Great column. Stinson-Welsey is a very nice, smart person who has done wonderful things for children here and around the world. Why is everyone being so ugly about her appointment? Give her a chance. Perhaps the city-county can use Mr. Knoble's talents on another committee or board.

Veronica said...

Wow. A St. Onge op ed I can actually stomach.

What I take from this is District 6 will be represented well in spite of the rest of the CMS board.

Secession by the suburban towns is still the best option for both D6 residents and non-D6 residents alike however.

Anonymous said...

I think the "ugliness" is not about Ms. Stinson-Wesley but about the way in which the appointment came about. Why did four members of the board originally support Dr. Rembert, who they had to know was extremely divisive? Why was the new board chair so willing to create ill will right off the bat? Was (and is) someone pulling the strings in the background? And what is the ultimate goal of this political game-manship?

Anonymous said...

One day when all of Mecklenburg looks like the rest of Charlotte, people can look back at this, and thank the Democrats.

Anonymous said...

This story is about courage..something we need more of in our community and certainly in our politics. Twelve people were willing to subject themselves to public scrutiny which has proven to be a malicious venture. Had the BOE Dems chosen a courageous path, then this story would have been about them. Instead we find the positive moment among the 12 who were willing to put themselves forward. Irony?

Anonymous said...

Thank you for an column that does not openly shove the Democrats' agenda re local education down your readers' throats. Unfortunately, this will do nothing to slow down the increase in "bright flight." Few want to participate in a system where the victor gets all the spoils regardless of the effect it has on the good of the whole. CMS has found itself with over 50% of a population segment that makes up less than 20% of the population of the US. If it were the 20% at the upper end of the bell curve, it would be one thing, but few are going to willingly place their children with the lower 20%, when their share of scsrce resources goes to the majority. At CMS, this hasn't lifted many up; it has pulled many down.

Wiley Coyote said...

When I first saw the photo, I thought the man was her husband.

Prior to the appointment, I would say most of us outside of District 6 didn't have a clue as to who either of these individuals were. Obviously Mary Mcray didn't.

While that was a "touching moment", the sadness of the fact is that it won't make a difference which of the "candidates" was appointed. CMS will coninue to languish until public education as a whole is dismantled and rebuilt.

By all accounts, Mr. Knoble and Mrs. Wesley are "class acts", but being a nice person isn't going to fix the problems CMS faces.

Anonymous said...

As someone who lives in District 6, I was afraid that if Mr. Knoble was appointed, it would be more of the "same old, same old." Tim Morgan did not respect the wishes of his constituents on the whole pay for performance plan and I know many people in this District do not trust him to have our best interests. I'm inclined to believe anyone Mr. Morgan nominates would do the same.

Congratulations to Rev. Stinson-Wesley, please represent our district in a way Time Morgan never did.

Anonymous said...

I agree. While Mr. Knoble might be a class act, his affiliation with Tim Morgan hurt him more. Tim has never had the interests of the 6th district. He aligned himself with the Broad minded superintendent and allowed things to occur that many in his district were not in favor. He did not listen to reason and has not done his homework when it comes to testing. I am glad we got Reverend Stinson-Wesley. I think she will do what is right not only for her district, but teachers as well.